Comment and tell us how you remain true to your personal style. 

​“You’re not fat, but don’t gain any more weight. Boys don’t want girls who are too fat.”  I cringe at the memory of this horrible advice given to me by an older family member when I was 15 years old. This was not the first or last time that I was fed such an unhealthy notion of relationships (and body image) in my youth. I am among the many women of my generation who were burdened with the idea that a man was something to earn. You had to be a certain type of woman, look a certain way, do certain things…to deserve the attention of a man. Madness, right? Absolute madness. I could delve into where this frame of thought originated, for Black women, but I don’t want to get too far off track. Just know, that there are so many of us who have had to grow and heal to release ourselves from the belief that we must be ‘deserving’ of companionship and healthy relationships. 

​Here is how that growth journey has looked for me. I spent my 20s and most of my 30s feeling like I had failed in some way, because I was still single. I was so hard on myself. Women of older generations would make matters worse with these infamous questions “why aren’t you dating? You don’t have a boyfriend, yet? As recently as this summer, a relative asked me "Antoinette, you're not married yet. What's wrong with you?" The audacity! It has taken years of therapy, becoming more self-aware, more understanding of my worth, for me to be able to free myself from asinine thought patterns. I now know that, at any point in my growth journey, I am loveable and deserving of love. Men (romantic partners) are not prizes that are bestowed upon us for being good girls. Maintaining a healthy relationship requires commitment and dedication from both parties, and it is not the woman’s duty to ‘keep a man’.  

​Today’s dating scene is challenging for many of us (an understatement, I know). Over the years, dating has become more fun and less disappointing because I have curated a life that I love. Here are seven truths that I stand by and that make dating a much more enjoyable experience.

​I am so grateful for growth and the gift of being an independent thinker. Now, in my forties, I know who I am and what I deserve. I am, by no means, perfect and I don’t have to be. Whether partnered or single, I have what I need to live a happy, fulfilled life. 

Meet Demi 
I am Demetria E. Johnson, aka Demi. I am a wife, mom, and Air Force retiree based in Goose Creek, SC. In addition to working as a Lead Transportation Assistant at the Naval Weapons Station, I am a model and actress. I have had an interest in the performing arts since childhood. I have been modeling and acting for the past four years.  

Blooming where planted...
Though there are not a lot of opportunities in modeling and acting in my area, but I have overcome this challenge by putting in for acting and modeling jobs in other states. Over the past four years, I have been in a few independent films including Angels Revenge and I Use 2 Luv Her. I have acted in a few stage productions, like For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide when the Rainbow is Enuf and When My Life Changed. When I’m not working, acting or modeling, I enjoy spending time with my family and the love of my life Christopher Johnson. You can see me in my most recent work, the films The Life of An OG Cougar and Two Sides of Glory.  

Advice on dreaming beyond your zip code...
The advice I would give is to never be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and be willing to travel.  Also think about creating your own content.

​Connect with Demi on Instagram and Facebook. 

Meet Katera 
I am Katera, a singer, songwriter, producer, and musician based in Columbia, SC.  I have performed at events and arenas throughout South Carolina. Opening for Corinne Bailey Rae at the Music Farm (now known as The Senate) was one of my favorite shows to date. I have released five singles:  In love with the DJ, Super Hero, Good Day, No Phone Calls, and my latest release, Single, an anthem for those who unapologetically choose themselves.

Blooming where planted...
I took my first piano lesson at the age of 7.  I sang in church and chorus growing up and my senior year of high school I began to take pursuing music seriously. I’ve learned that in a city with a small music scene sometimes you have to create your own opportunities.  I tried calling venues, sending emails etc. to book shows and that did not work for me.  Instead, I rented venues and hired musicians with my own money, not sure if I would make my money back, just to get my name out there. Eventually, the bookings started coming in.

Advice on dreaming beyond your zip code...
The internet is your friend. YouTube, Instagram, Tik Tok, do it all.  You don’t need a physical stage to put yourself out there.

Connect with Katera at Kateramusic.com | Instagram | Facebook

Katera's latest release, Single, is available on all streaming platforms. 

Meet Michelle 
I am Michelle P. Warren, a native of the DMV, who relocated to SC in 2013. The move was not of my own desire, but direction from the Lord who planted me here for such a time as this. While having to rebuild my life, I started off as an Executive Assistant, which then led to a career in finance at a tech company. It was there that the doors began to open back up to my creative side and it started with a voiceover that then cascaded into so much more. So far, my greatest accomplishments in the entertainment arena have been playing Lady in Blue in For Colored Girls, the stage play by the incomparable Ntozake Shange- which was such an honor to have done before her passing, and currently being the producer for a new television talk show called "It's a Good Time to Be You!" hosted by the amazing Angela D. Henderson airing on WLCN- Christian Television Network.

Blooming where planted...
I have always been interested in entertainment since I was a kid. I had hoped to be a teen on BET's Teen Summit, but during the audition process on the news anchor portion, I froze even though I blazed through the other parts of the audition. It was then that I let the idea go and pursued a practical path only to be led back into my passions later down the road.
I was devastated when I learned that I would be relocating to Charleston because my impression of the area was that it was a desert for all the things that I wanted to do and that the network would be too tight for me to break in. The largest contributor to me overcoming this challenge was through test and trials in my personal life that made me realize that I would not be satisfied if I continue to live in fear. I took a position of faith one year after being tired and told God that I would not say no to open doors out of fear and that is when every heart's desire started to resurface. I was pushed out of my comfort zone over and over and have found myself through it all.

Advice on dreaming beyond your zip code...
My advice would be that if you have something burning in your heart to do, trust that if it is HIS will, the right people and doors will open but you have to want it bad enough. Secondly, be willing to build your own opportunities and network as much as possible. Trust yourself, it will come.

Connect with Michelle at MichellePWarren.com |Facebook |Instagram 

Tune in to "It's A Good Time To Be You" every Sunday and Wednesday airing on WLCN- Christian Television Network. Interested in having your story featured on the show? Contact Michelle via email or IG.  

Meet Suzette Victoria 
Originally from Columbia, SC and currently based in Atlanta, GA,  I am a professional model and actress. I have modeled for brands such as Ashley Stewart, Belk, Macy’s, La La Anthony, and others. I have acted in various projects and TV shows such as TV One’s For my Man and Oxygen’s Snapped. I am currently represented by Ursula Wiedmann Models, Dorothy Combs Models, and MI Talent.  I recently started my film production company, Victoria Productions, and I have goals of starting an organization for youth in foster care. Fun fact? I trained in professional wrestling.

Blooming where planted...
I have always been fascinated with film, fashion, production, and writing since I was a little girl. In SC there were limited opportunities. There really isn’t an arts district like other cities.  There aren’t events and communities dedicated to different types of creatives. You definitely have to travel to find shows, gigs, gain representation, and brand collaborations. In the industry, it’s almost impossible to stay in one place. You could network online but, eventually, you have to travel. Larger cities are like a melting pot. There are people from all over the world that have different perspectives and levels of experience, so it’s easier to learn from others.
 
So far, my career highlights include being requested to go to Tyler Perry Studios and the time spent in New York City hanging with Andy Hilfiger, appointments for Ralph Lauren, requests for New York Fashion Week, all while crushing my go-sees-just like watching America’s Next Top Model back in the day. It was surreal, being from a small city where you could find a cornfield 25 minutes out.

Advice on dreaming beyond your zip code...
To those pursuing a career in entertainment, do it! You don’t want to spend your life settling because you’re comfortable, and wondering “what if?” Passion placed inside of you means it’s already yours. Be open to traveling. Know that you will have to dedicate time even if it’s just for an audition or a meeting. Not every sacrifice will equate to money or an opportunity. What’s for you, is for you. A “no” could be a blessing in disguise. You have something that no one else has, and you are exactly what someone is looking for. The industry has a lot of rejection but a lot of times it has nothing to do with you. There is PLENTY of room at the table.

Connect with Suzette Victoria on Facebook and Instagram 

I can't thank these ladies enough for sharing their stories of dreaming big and having the drive and creativity to achieve those dreams despite the challenges that come with small-town life. Friends, be sure to follow these creatives on their platforms and support their current and upcoming projects.  

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