​Great things happen when we share our stories.  The saying “you never know what the next person is going through” is the absolute truth. Another thing that could be said is that we don’t really know how much we have in common until we begin to share our stories. I am so grateful to the women who will be featured throughout the year on Truly Charmed.  These are women who have beaten unbelievable odds to claim their charmed lives.  Up first…Alexan Green.  I have been cheering Alexan on from afar for a while now. She’s one of my Facebook friends who is always working…always spreading empowering messages. I had to share her story with you.  Read on to meet survivor and advocate Alexan Green. 

Meet Alexan…
Hi, my name is Alexan Green. I am a 38 year old mother and wife from Lake City, South Carolina. I am the founder of Women Against All Odds (WAAO), an outreach organization/ministry designed to support women during their toughest challenges.  At the age of 6, I was sexually molested by a family member who lived with my great-grandmother. This senseless act took place for quite some time until the relative decided to move back to his hometown. I kept the abuse a secret for many years. The aftermath was horrible. I dealt with a lot of changes over the years: struggling with my sexuality, dealing with multiple men, fear of telling, not knowing what would happen if I did, struggling with loving myself, and the list goes on. At some points I felt like giving up. I endured. Through age and with God, my experiences strengthened me. I began to know that I had a voice and needed to speak up and out to help other women.

About WAAO…
I started my non-profit, Women Against All Odds, in 2013. The mission statement sums up the purpose of WAAO: “Helping every woman live through adversity in order to conquer, survive, and thrive”. I hope to inspire and empower women during the greatest challenges in their lives.  WAAO has hosted a networking mixer on the third Thursday of each month in my hometown of Lake City S.C. at the Railway Restaurant from 6-9 p.m. During the meetings, ladies would network and chat about their business, fellowship, pray, and share stories of survival. With the restaurant being under new management I'm looking to move to another location. The journey has been challenging, but I'm believing and trusting that God will continue to send women to help me build this amazing organization.  

Alexan’s Charmed Life…
I still have days in which I wonder will I ever be able to put the aftermath of molestation behind me. I came to the decision that no matter what I was going to keep moving forward.  I met a wonderful lady by the name of Jennifer Robinson, whose outreach program, Empowered To Heal, helps women who have been sexually molested. I meet with her monthly for counseling sessions to chat about some of the adversities that I still deal with. Now a mother of three and a wife of eleven years, I feel like I have more support and love than I have ever had. I'm glad that God saw fit to spare my life so that I could give life to my children. I am inspired by being connected to women with the same purpose and drive. My advice to anyone who may be going through difficulty is to keep fighting until your victory is won.

​To say that I was moved by Alexan’s story is an understatement. I am so grateful for her transparency.  This will, no doubt, be a blessing to the lives of those who read it. If you are a survivor of child molestation, look at Alexan’s story as inspiration.  Speak up. Speak out. You are not your circumstances. Share this story. You never know who may need it.

​The greatest lessons can be learned from our little people, our children. In my case, they’re not so little anymore (ages 15 and 17), but over the years my children have enriched my life in so many ways, including teaching me some very important lessons.  In general, children see possibilities where cynicism has caused us to go blind. They find hope in circumstances that life’s upsets and fumbles would cause us to give up. They dream big. They have fun. Unfortunately, “adulting” and all that comes with it has left some of us jaded and it may become necessary for us to take a step back and look at life through the hope-filled and unadulterated eyes of our children. 
My son, Zy, is currently in the last semester of his senior year in high school. Yes, a SENIOR!  It blows my mind to think about it.  My daughter, Chris, is 15 years old and a freshman in high school. They have grown up so quickly on me. I often find myself thinking about our journey, the wisdom that I have strived to instill in them, and the ways in which they have made me a better person.  Here are a few lessons that I have learned from my children.  

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1. Chris is my explorer. She is not afraid to travel and to experience new things.  Where did she get this from? I have no clue because I am such a home body. She has always inspired me to get out, travel more, and to not become complacent with my current situation. 
2. Zy is my competitive child and a team player. He has been an athlete since giving soccer a try at the age of 6. However, once he got that first try at football (age 7), it was football all the way.  He loves competition, loves winning, and has always shown great loyalty to his team. I gave him the option to switch high schools when he was on the way to 10th grade, but he said “no, this is my team. I have to stick with my team”.  Proud mommy moment. 
3. Chris has taught me to love my natural self.  A major priority for me, as a parent, has been to teach my children to know who they are and to understand their worth.  It’s a beautiful thing to see your daughter grow into her confidence. Chris embraces her natural beauty.  She is my favorite naturalista and she has inspired me to ‘go natural’ after having my hair relaxed since the age of 9.
4. Zy does not give up.  For those who are not familiar, check out the story of my son’s accident HERE.  Prior to his accident, we all just knew that Zy would be highly sought after by colleges to play football, but sometimes life throws curveballs.  I have always impressed upon my children the importance of having a plan B, but Zy has not missed a beat. He never fell victim to self-pity, always remaining optimistic about his future. Though he has not given up on the idea of playing college football, he has fully embraced his plan B, becoming a fitness expert and opening a fitness center.  It’s always hard when you see your children having to experience major setbacks, but this is when they get to put in action all of the lessons that we teach them as parents.  

​Because of my children, I travel more and I have become more open to new experiences. I was motivated to take my goals off of the backburner and pursue my blogging and modeling careers. I am more confident in my own abilities and beauty. I could go on and on about the ways in which my children have caused me to widen my horizons and to check my perspective when it comes to certain things in life. I look forward to witnessing their growth into adulthood and their bright futures. I know that a lot of you who are reading this are parents, educators, aunts, uncles…in what ways have the children in your lives taught you lessons? Comment below.  

​What is the cloud? “The cloud” is anything that interrupts life, anything that keeps you from wanting to do the things that you must do in order to thrive, including the things that you enjoy doing.  “The cloud” threatens your quality of life. For you it could be naysayers, negative people in your circle, or your own negative self-talk.  In my case, I deal with the dual burden of anxiety and depression.  I have dealt with this for many years, but a name wasn’t given to my struggle until I was diagnosed with chronic depression in 2006. 
I had no idea of the number of people who also live with these conditions until I became transparent and began to talk it.  Most days are fine. On my worst days, it feels like a battle just to get out of bed—as if I’m being held down by a boulder.  It takes so much resolve and an iron will to thrive in spite of the pitfalls of anxiety and depression.  Maybe your cloud is the same is mine, maybe not, but here are five ways to say no to any cloud and claim your charmed life! 

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1. Put a name to your cloud. You can’t plan your defense without knowing exactly what you’re working against. Take inventory and identify those things or people that put a damper on your spirits and keep your from living your best life.
2. Get rid of the cloud, ASAP.  In the case of negative people, thoughts, and atmospheres take the steps necessary to remove these things from your inner circle. It’s not always easy, but when your quality of life is threatened, removing those roadblocks to optimal well-being is necessary. As in the case of chronic conditions such as depression, it is not always possible to completely eliminate the cloud. However, there are steps that can be taken to gain control of your life.
3. Prepare in advance. For those situations that cannot be permanently removed from your life, get your defenses up so that you remain in control.  Wake up a few minutes earlier for meditation or to reflect on positive thoughts. At the beginning or end of the day, make a list of things or moments that make/made your smile.  It seems simple enough but reflecting on positive thoughts can make a world of difference.  Imagine how much better you’ll be prepared when facing that ‘negative nelly’ coworker who’s in the cubicle next to yours or the family member who always makes it a point to put a damper on your goals. 
4. Recognize that you are not the problem. Do not internalize your cloud or define yourself as a bad person. This will only leave you feeling hopeless and defeated.  I had to evolve to the point of not characterizing myself based on my circumstances.  I now acknowledge that I have to be resolved to live my life despite those thoughts and feelings that threaten the opportunities placed before me.  It’s not always a simple task, but I have to push forward despite the cloud. I do have to say that I become stronger with each battle that I win against anxiety and depression.  You will find that, over time and with the strengthening of your resolve, you will become more in control of your own cloud.
5. Prayer changes things.  It may sound cliché, but I know it to be true. God placed you and me in our respective places with a purpose. I am certain that neither my purpose nor yours is rooted in misery. Make it a point to build a close relationship with your Creator so that His voice becomes very clear to you. There is no greater defense against those things that would otherwise keep you from claiming your destiny.  

​I hope that this post helps you in your effort to push forward and live a happy, healthy, and prosperous life. Never allow negativity or any other hindrance to stop you! Let’s claim our charmed lives. Comment below and let us know how you thrive despite the clouds of life.